I have known him
so well
for so long

his foul breath on me
all over
just
all over everything

eyes leering
from a darkness
without beginning
or end

everywhere
everywhere
just
everywhere

around me

and that god damned
smile

that cocky god damned
smile

that erupts into
a victory laugh

rattling bones
confusing mind
snapping spirit

tripped yet again
he
drags me away
drags me away

away
away
away

face in the dirt – again!
arms straining
to hold on

hold on
hold on
at all costs please…
hold on

a hand from
absolute nowhere
with a voice

soft and clear:

“I Am
with you

hold on
hold on
hold on”

pulled from the dirt
set on my feet
my coat dusted off
by the hand

the voice
whispering:

I want to Be…
with you

to Beeeee…
with you

the Be
is breathed into me
more satisfying
than air
to the drowning

the small word
fills me

saved by simplicity
I walk back
along the same road

opposite in direction
following a distant light
further away than ever

he will not have me…
today

but I still gag on
the closeness
of his effluvium

his eyes remain intent
on me

he still smiles
following undaunted
by the distant light

having time
willing to follow
willing to wait

Joseph H. Gorman, III, M.D. is an Associate Professor of Surgery at the Gorman Cardiovascular Research Group, Glenolden Research Laboratory, University of Pennsylvania.